How did I let it happen? How did I wake up one day to find myself at 286 pounds and completely miserable in my own body? It happened, I can't blame anyone but me. And only I can fix it. So I am. On December 23, 2009 I had Lap-Band Surgery with Dr. John Marsden. I'm down 100 pounds so far with about 25 to go.

Monday, April 4, 2011

It's days like today ...

That make me want to scream. I did everything right last week. Watched and logged my food. Made sure to get in my steps and my calories burned. Drank a TON of water. Kept my spirits up and my attitude positive. And how was I rewarded this morning? I gained a pound.


C'mon life! Why you gotta hate on me like that?

The logical part of my brain tells me that this is no big deal, that this happens to everyone, that it is probably hormones or water retention or something else of the sort. That the scale will catch up with the numbers. Just be patient. Blah blah blah. Sometimes I hate the logical part of my brain. Sometimes I want to be illogical. Irrationally upset. Mad.

Pissed off that it is SO much harder to lose weight than it is to gain it. One thing I heard over and over and over before I got banded was, "You didn't put this weight on overnight. You won't be able to take it off overnight." That is a load of hooey. At least the putting it on part. I sometimes calculate how much I would eat in a day back before I cared what I ate. I know that there were days when I would eat over 10,000 calories. And I feel pretty confident that on most days I was hovering around the 5K mark. So let us do a little math shall we? Let's say I ate 5,000 calories a day and burned 2,400 (which is an estimate based on my activity level and the size I was). That is an excess of 2,600 a day. Take that every day for a week and equals a gain of just over 5 pounds a week. It would be nearly impossible for me to lose 5 pounds in one week these days. No wonder I get frustrated and upset!

Here I am feeling sorry for myself so I try to go for some inspiration and read some fellow bandsters blogs. And you know what I find? A lot of you out there are feeling the EXACT way I am feeling this very day! Frustrated. Upset. Disappointed. Tired. Defeated. Reading your blogs and knowing that I am not alone in my feelings and thoughts, that made me feel better. Not that I ever want anyone to feel the way I am feeling - but that I am NOT ALONE. None of us are alone. We all have the same struggles. We all have the same fears. We all have the same challenges. We all make mistakes. And we all will get through it. Together. And come out better people on the other side of this journey.

So thank you. All of you. For being there, for being you, and for sharing your pain and your joy. Please know, it does make a difference.


  1. Right here for you, chica. Every. Single. Day. It's a long road, but we will get there together!!

  2. You are right, a lot of us are frustrated. But the fact that we aren't doing the same things we did 6 months ago means we are changing for the better! Recognizing our issues. Where as before I just ate through those issues! Doesn't mean we don't fall sometime. A Lb is nothing! It might be gone tomorrow! That being said I know how you feel!

    Regroup, remotivate and keep going!