How did I let it happen? How did I wake up one day to find myself at 286 pounds and completely miserable in my own body? It happened, I can't blame anyone but me. And only I can fix it. So I am. On December 23, 2009 I had Lap-Band Surgery with Dr. John Marsden. I'm down 100 pounds so far with about 25 to go.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

BOOBs 2011 Fun Facts!

I'm a sucker for a survey so you know I am stoked to do this one!!

1.  How did you pick your blog name?
Losing Weight and Changing Habits … Honestly I don't remember how I came up with that. I was just trying to pick something that I thought made sense. I can't say I'm 100% thrilled with the name, it isn't very fun or exciting.

2.  When did you start blogging?
February 2011, which was 14ish months post-surgery. I wish I had started earlier.

3.  Theme of blog (weight loss, family, circus clowns, sci-fi, erotica, fly fishing, doll collecting, star wars, etc)
So weird that you ask this! My original intention was for my blog to be about how my family, who are coincidentally circus clowns, like to attend erotic sci-fi fly fishing tournaments with our star wars dolls but I thought that would be too complicated to explain, so I decided to write about weight loss instead.

4.  Did you go to BOOBs 2010?
Nope, but I'm excited to go this year!

5.  When were you banded?
December 23, 2009

6.  How much have you lost?
100 pounds, give or take a few depending on the day. I'd like to lose 20-30 more but I'm not in any huge rush.

7.  What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs?
A weekend away with some awesome new friends.

8.  What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011?
No clue. I'm open to whatever happens!

9.  Children? Pets?
No kids (by choice), 3 Cats - Yo Yo Meow, Casanova and Hobo Jack

10.  Who is your roomie?
I have the pleasure of rooming with Justine and Krystal!

11.  What day do you arrive?
Thursday Evening

12.  What airport/flight/time?
O'Hare, American Airlines 2364 arriving at 7:05pm
Stacey and I are planning on meeting at baggage claim soon after and sharing a cab if anyone wants to join in with us.

13.  What events are you signed up for?
Drag Show, Good Times Around Michigan Avenue, Second City Comedy Theater, Jazzercise and the official BOOBS get togethers. Other than that, I'm going to play it by ear! Possibly the tattoo outing, some dancing with Dawnya, working out in the hotel gym, maybe some impromptu Yoga in the lobby!

14.  Hobbies?
I'm a TV and movie addict! And I am a big reader (I love my Kindle!) I also knit and am starting to sew and I love photography.

15.  Career?
Short answer: I'm a Web Designer for Pier 1 Imports

Long answer: I studied Speech Pathology in college but when I got to the part of schooling where I actually had to DO that kind of work for real I learned that I hated it with the fiery passion of 1,000 suns. I went ahead and finished school since I only had a few months to go and wasn't going to quit at that point. I wandered aimlessly for a while doing this and that, and then in 1997 I taught myself how to create web pages and eventually worked my way to becoming a Web Designer. Been doing it ever since and I absolutely love it!

16.  Single? Married? In a relationship?
Married. James is my husband, we will be celebrating 9 years in November. We met at work in May of 1998, were friends for a couple of years before we started dating.

17.  Your birthday month?
March baby! The 23rd … which means I am an Aries. But more technically I'm on the Pisces/Aries cusp which is the craziest cusp to be on if you know anything about astrology. That is another thing I'm interested in :)

18.  What do you want other BOOBs to know about you?
Gosh, I don't know. Maybe Beth or Ronnie or Dawnya can tell you something about me. I'm not sure what kind of stuff I should share :) Although I will say that I am super excited that I've found such an awesome group of friends to share this journey with (man that sounds sappy!), so thanks!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Fill 'er up!

I went in this morning for a fill. It wasn't a big one, just a tiny tweak of .4 and I'm hoping it makes a difference!

Only a little bit of semi-bad news at my fill appointment, the tech said my pouch looks a tiny bit stretched out. She asked if I was waiting the appropriate amount of time after I ate to lounge or recline. And I have to admit, I haven't been as good with this as I need to be. I told her that and she said that was alright and that I should focus on that and it should correct itself in not too much time. So whew! After all, that is one of the reasons I wanted to get a fill, or at least get checked. At least I know now.

I am getting so excited about Chicago!!! I've signed up and paid for a few things, we are going to have a blast :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Humpty Dumpty Day

Hello out there in Blog Land :)

As I just told Beth in an email, I've been having an issue with the chocolate almonds they sell at Smoothie King. They are deliciousness in a bag. And so you know, for the amount of calories in one bag, I would have to work out for 4 hours to balance things out. I have had a bag of these chocolate almonds at least 5 times over the past 2 weeks. Bad bad Debi.

But today is a new day and I did not get any chocolate almonds with my High Protein Almond Mocha smoothie this morning. Good good Debi! I am still at a deficit for last week and so far for this week, even with my weakness. And this week is only 1/2 way gone! I have hope that things will be great.

As for the Back to Basics challenge with the BOOBS, I think I am officially dropping out. I hate to do that, but I think the weighing is messing with my head and I really need to focus on the way I feel and how much stronger I am now than I was a few weeks ago. The scale is counterproductive to that end. So there you have it. I wish all the participants the best of luck and I am glad to have contributed to whatever your prize may be :)

I did not want to get out of bed this morning! I must've laid there and played Words With Friends for like 20 minutes! (Oh, and if anyone who plays that wants to play a game with me, my username is debidoodle.) But I finally got my patootie out of bed and got to work. Tonight I'm going over to my Dad's house because my sister is in from England for a visit. I haven't seen her in a couple of years so that will be fun to show off my new self tonight!

I know that Read posted this a while back about chatting/IM and I'd like to do the same. I L-O-V-E chatting/IMing with peeps. And it would be great to have some BOOBS to talk to during the day when I need a pick-me-up. So here is my info, please feel free to add me ... just let me know you are a BOOB in the invite.

MSN: debideloach@hotmail.com
AIM: DebiAtWork

Monday, August 22, 2011

I'm getting a fill ... maybe?

I just got off the phone making an appointment to have a fill next Monday morning. The only bad thing is that it is at 7:45 in the morning! Who is up that early?!?!?! (That is rhetorical of course, I know a lot of people are up that early :) )

The long and the short of it is that right now I feel like I am able to eat entirely too much at one sitting without much consequence. I might hiccup a little or something, but that's it. And the other thing is that I am able to eat too fast as well. I don't know why I am in a hurry, other than the fact that I don't like eating food that is supposed to be warm after it has gotten cold.

Let's take yesterday for an example. For lunch I had a half of a Great Outdoors sub sandwich. Turkey and cheese with lettuce, onion, etc. (no tomato though, ick). I did take off the bottom part of the bread while I was eating the sandwich, but then after I had the sandwich I ate 1/2 of that bottom piece of bread by itself. Then for dinner - and I know this wasn't the best choice, but it was what I was wanting - I had corn on the cob (1/2 ear), about 1/2 c of mashed potato, and 1 serving of fried okra. There was butter on the corn and I put salt on it but nothing on the taters other than how it came, which was just with a little pepper. Then later I had a Blue Bell (No Sugar Added) Krunch Bar for dessert.

Is that too much? How much are y'all able to eat at one sitting? Maybe I'm crazy!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Shout Outs and Thanks

Sweet sweet Dawnya texted me yesterday to check on me because I have been so quiet on my blog lately. I assured her I am just fine, just haven't been very chatty lately. It's been busy at work and since this is where I usually post from, it has sort of just fallen by the wayside. But I don't want her (or anyone) to worry about me, so I am making a point to post today!

I have been reading this week and there have been a few posts that have really hit home with me. One from Lyn at Escape from Obesity where she talks about how tired she is of counting calories and weighing food and obsessing over every little thing. I sort of feel like that right now. I feel like for the past several weeks it doesn't really matter what I do, nothing changes the scale. I touched on this in my video blog the other day - well, nothing has changed. I'm not going to stop being mindful of what I put into my body, but I am going to stop being a crazy nut job about it.

And on that same note, I think I actually said AMEN SISTER! out loud to the screen when I read Ronnie's post on Monday. I too am tired of all the reasons and excuses as to why the scale isn't moving, and I'm just over it. I've been eating a lot of calories this week. Even with that, I should still have a deficit overall for the week, which is really all I'm aiming for these days. My goal right now is to focus on how I feel and how my exercise is going. One hurdle at a time. Right?

Steph and her positivity posts have been making my days! I am usually a very positive person (at least positively crazy, that's for sure!) but I have my times where it is hard to keep that smile going and remember all the good things there are in life. So thanks Steph, you have made my week better with your posts and your wonderful spirit!

Jen's Brain Purge post really touched me. I know exactly how that feels. Just about every single word of it. The frustration, the stress, the emotion, the terror, the anger. I am so proud of you Jen for being brave enough to post that. Please know that it helped me. And I hope that in some small way that makes you feel better for posting it. :)

Amy's post about her yoga class made me smile! I'm not quite to the headstand stage yet, but I am determined to get there one day! And I'm with you, I L-O-V-E the balance poses. I did a full on Tree yesterday for the first time without falling over or needing the wall. I was quite proud of myself!

Draz's post about what you will do when the fat is gone seriously made me sit at my desk with my brain wheels turning for a good 20 minutes. I never thought I was one to eat my emotions … until I got banded. It wasn't until I could no longer push my emotions down with food that I realized I was that person. Then when you put that together with BBF Beth's post about being a sensitive person, I sort of started to get a picture in my mind. I've tried to be the person who didn't want to show that things people did or said hurt my feelings. I didn't want to be the "blabbering, crying fat girl". So in order to keep those feelings at bay, I would push them down with food. Now that I can't/won't do that anymore it has been an adjustment to let myself FEEL those feelings. Quite scary at times, but also very liberating.

Back when I was fat, I wasn't the girl that people would think to call when they wanted to do something fun or go somewhere neat. I don't know if it was because of my weight or because of the way that I let my weight make me be. I don't even know if that makes sense. I think my fat made me put up walls to protect myself, making me seem closed off and aloof at times. And now I'm allowing myself to tear those walls down and just be who I want to be. Everyone else be damned! I am now letting people know when they hurt my feelings, I am allowing myself to feel happy being me so that I don't feel like being closed off from others which then makes people want to call me and hang out with me. This is a big change for me.

So, now I just feel like I'm rambling. :)

However, in all seriousness. Thank you to all my blogging family out there. Every word you are brave enough to share helps someone at some point. Whether you realize it or not. I will try to remember that myself in the future and not stay quiet for so long for fear that I have nothing worth saying.

Have a great weekend!!!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Where have I been?

Seriously? I don't even know! It's been ages since I was here chatting it up.

I got a new iMac at work and I'm totally diggin' on the iSight camera! So, you get a treat today (hahahaha), I made a video!! It might be kind of quiet because I didn't want everyone in my office to hear me talking. I hope it isn't too bad. Enjoy

video

Monday, August 8, 2011

Monday Musings

I never thought I'd ever hear myself say this, but I wasn't able to work out tonight and I missed it! I had a good reason though :) It was Banded Support Group tonight and I hate to miss those! All the peeps are so much fun and I get some crazy inspiration from going.

I got a new computer at work today, an iMac, woo hoo! So I spent most of the day getting things set up the way I like them and therefore didn't have any time to read blogs - I am soooo behind! Maybe I'll have some time tomorrow. I hope so!

I am really happy today. No particular reason, just am. I love days like this.

That's all for now ... ta ta!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Thankful

I went out at lunch time today with a friend/co-worker, somehow we got on the discussion of size. Now, she has only worked with me for 6ish months so she never knew me when I was big. She has seen a picture, but she says she can't picture me like that and that it doesn't seem like its real. Anyway, I know a lot of us have problems seeing ourselves as we actually are once we begin to lose the weight, and I am no exception. While I know I'm not as big as I used to be, I still wouldn't consider myself "normal" sized. Apparently, that is just me. My friend said that from the first time she met me she never once thought to herself that I was big. She has always thought of me as just a normal sized person, average build. That really shocked me! She is a very beautiful girl and has a great figure, being around someone like that always makes me feel like I am a giant and just huge overall. But to know that my size never even entered her mind as a defining feature of me ... well, wow. That just made my whole week!

I know Beth was talking about a similar topic today on her blog, and it just struck me how thankful I am to all of you out there who might be reading. Knowing that I am not alone, knowing I have people I can turn to when I have a question or a problem or just want to vent. That is an amazing thing. Truly and completely amazing. I know people who don't have that kind of support and it makes a difference in the success that we can achieve. So thank you all!

Tonight is more yoga and I am super excited! Then we are going to see Horrible Bosses with James' work team. Should be fun :) Woo hoo!!!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Survey, I love these!

1. What is your occupation right now ?
I am the Web Production Designer for Pier 1 Imports. I do all the front end coding for pier1.com and customer emails.

2.What color are your socks right now?
No socks!

3. What are you listening to right now?
Duran Duran's Rio album

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Oatmeal with Peanut Butter

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yep, every single day!

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My BFF, on Saturday. I don't talk on the phone much!

7. Do you like the person you stole this blog from?
Yep!

8. How old are you today?
40 and fantastic!

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
None, I don't like sports at all.

10. What is your favorite drink?
Gosh, I don't know anymore. All I drink is water, orange juice and sometimes tea.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
All the time!

12. Favorite food?
Mexican

13. What is the last movie you watched?
Friends with Benefits, it was hilarious

14. Favorite day of the year?
My Birthday

15. How do you vent anger?
I usually cry

16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Probably some stuffed animal

17. What is your favorite season?
We don't really have seasons here in Texas!

18. Cherries or Blueberries?
Cherries

19. Do you want your friends to blog this survey?
Sure, if they'd like to

20. Where is your favorite place to escape?
The Movies

21. Favorite TV Show?
Too many to name ... I'm seriously addicted to TV :) However, my all time fav is Friends.

22. Living arrangements?
I own a house and live with my husband James and our 3 kitties, Yo Yo Meow, Casanova and Hobo Jack.

23. When was the last time you cried?
Last week when something at work made me mad

24. What is on the floor of your closet?
A lot of junk, I need to clean it!

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Matt, He was born when I was 10 days old and that's the first place my Mom ever took me, was to the hospital to visit him and his Mom :)

26. What did you do last night?
Watched True Blood and Breaking Bad

27. What are you most afraid of?
I honestly can't think of anything right now, so weird.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Cheeseburgers! But I have a hard time eating them now :(

29. Favorite dog breed?
Cocker Spaniel

30. Favorite day of the week?
I don't really know ... Saturday I guess?

31. How many states have you lived in?
3: Texas, Florida, Illinois

32. Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds

33. What is your favorite flower?
Gerbera Daisy