How did I let it happen? How did I wake up one day to find myself at 286 pounds and completely miserable in my own body? It happened, I can't blame anyone but me. And only I can fix it. So I am. On December 23, 2009 I had Lap-Band Surgery with Dr. John Marsden. I'm down 100 pounds so far with about 25 to go.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Better late than never

May 27, 2009. 1 year, 8 months and 6 days ago I had my first appointment with True Results to check out this whole "LapBand" thing. It started before that. I don't know if I can pinpoint exactly when, but it had been building up for a while. But that day in May was when I just couldn't handle it anymore.

It was a process. There were times I didn't think I could go through with it. But I knew deep down that I had to. I had run out of options. I was sick. I was tired. I couldn't keep going. My life was not worth anything. I was merely existing, and that was terrifying to me. I'm not sure how, but I made it to the next step.

December 23, 2009. 1 year, 1 month and 11 days ago I had my LapBand surgery. It hasn't always been easy. It hasn't always been fun. There were many days I just broke down and cried. I cursed myself for having done this. But the #1 reason that I chose to do this, is because it would force me not to give up. Giving up was no longer an option. That choice has been removed from possibility. And that choice ... I honestly believe it has saved my life.

Today is February 3, 2011. My journey is not finished, but it has come a long way. I don't know if it will every be completely finished. It is still a struggle at times. But those days come less and less frequently now. I never would have believed it if you'd told me 2 years ago. But because I took a terrifying leap of faith, my life is worth living again. And I've never been more grateful for that.


1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry that you have had to go through such horrible feelings. But I can also say that I'm thankful that somehow this unhappiness manifested in something that brought us together. This process is so hard. But you help make it much more doable!! Thank you for your inspiration. :)