How did I let it happen? How did I wake up one day to find myself at 286 pounds and completely miserable in my own body? It happened, I can't blame anyone but me. And only I can fix it. So I am. On December 23, 2009 I had Lap-Band Surgery with Dr. John Marsden. I'm down 100 pounds so far with about 25 to go.

Monday, February 28, 2011

More ups than downs last week

I had a fantastic time at my knitting retreat this weekend! But I ate terribly. There were cookies and chocolate and candy everywhere and I tried not to, but my willpower just didn't work as well as it should. And because of all of that, I was up this morning at my weekly weigh in. But I'm not going to let it get me down. I had a talk with James last night and I said to him that I was frustrated because I was not losing but telling myself I wanted to lose and I wasn't sure why I felt like I still wanted to lose more weight. And, as simple as it could get his answer was "you want to lose more because you aren't at your goal yet".


Why can't I look at the simple answers all the time. I am not at my # goal yet. And I deserve to get there. Simple as that. This isn't rocket surgery people. I can do this. So, even though I said I was back on it a couple of weeks ago. I really wasn't committed to it. Something clicked in my brain last night. I have 6 weeks until the date I set originally for my goal of 175. That will be a little harder now, but I'm still going to shoot for it.

My birthday is in 3 1/2 weeks and I don't know if I'm excited about it or not. It's a big one, 40 years old. I certainly don't feel like I'm 40. And nobody thinks I look like I'm 40. My age has never really been a problem for me before, as to my feelings about it. Why now? When I look and feel better than I have in years? I don't get it. I'm trying not to let it bother me. That's all I can do, right? :)

I hope everyone had a great weekend. And thanks for reading, it helps me to get some of this stuff out and off my chest.

Love y'all!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Rocket surgery. Teehee. Super big hugs, girlfriend! You SO can do it!!