So this morning, the scale didn't like me. Even though my food journal shows I was only 431 calories over my weekly goal, the scale showed me up 1.5 lbs for the week. 1.5 lbs = 5250 calories. Not 431. I don't understand. I know I wasn't great last week with the eating, but I promise I wrote every single thing down that I put in my mouth. And I erred on the side of caution when I wasn't sure how many calories were in something. So how in the world does 431 calories translate into 1.5 lbs?!
I feel like a failure. I know that sounds completely absurd. I am consistently maintaining a 100 lb loss. That CAN'T be a failure. But that is how I feel today. I don't have a lot of motivation. It seems like whatever I do, I stay the same. I am hesitant to get a fill, I am afraid of having a dilation. And I feel like my restriction is fine. I don't eat too much at one sitting, I don't get hungry in between. Is it possible that this is just where my body wants to be?
I know I need to get with the exercise program. But I hate exercise. Seriously hate it. With every single one of my guts. The thought of exercise makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry. I don't mind activity. I like to ride my bike, I like to swim, I like to go on walks. And I do that as much as I can. Do I just need to accept that if I choose not to do strenuous exercise several times a week that I will probably remain pretty much where I am scale wise? And am I OK with that?
Typically in my life I have had a "give up when it's too hard" attitude. Life is too short to make myself miserable. I wish I could find a happy medium. And maybe I'm at it. I just don't know. Help!