That does not justify this

That = Balls to the Wall challenge starting next Monday the 13th.
This = The horrid way I've been shoving every single thing in the world into my mouth the past week and a half.

Sigh.

I don't even want to get on the scale. I did a couple of days ago and it read 185. That is 6.5 up from my lowest so far. WHY? Why do I do this? WHY? Why do I think it is OK? WHY? Why do I seem to be determined to not achieve my plan of being a healthy weight? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Now that I've gotten my inner 2 year old questions out ...

How is everyone today??? Other than the above, I'm doing really good today. I had a really nice weekend. Saturday I slept in a little bit, lounged in the pool for a while and then went to have dinner with Beth and some of her friends as part of her birthday extravaganza celebration :) It was delish and super fun. It was great to meet some of the people she tells me about!

Sunday we got up and went to the grocery store kinda early and then rested and hung out until time to go to my niece's graduation party. It was at my brother's house - which is like an hour away! Kind of far but not really. My niece is super cute and tiny. And while we were over there, my sister was saying that my niece weighs 105 pounds. To which I exclaimed, "Wow! I've lost a whole Lexi!" Ha! Makes it super fun to think of it that way. Lexi's mom, Lisa, is my sister-in-law who is also banded which makes it nice because I know there will always be some band-friendly fare to munch on at their house.

Today it is back to work and preparing myself for the Balls to the Wall challenge starting next Monday. Weening myself off of too much of everything lately will be easier than completely cold turkey next Monday, right? I hope!